Friday, December 2, 2016


It happened in Superior Wisconsin and is being called one of the most bizarre Thanksgiving celebrations gone wrong of the year. While holidays are always prone to family drama unfolding, nobody would have ever guessed what 21 year-old Ryan Mills and his girlfriend would go through.

Both are now behind bars.

Police were called around 1pm to a family home on Thanksgiving day. The call was in regards to reports of a loud domestic incident going down inside the house.

Mills was found lying on the floor when the cops arrived. A blood stained uncooked turkey lie next to him. He was grabbing his legs while crying. It turned out he had been stabbed four times in the legs, and once in the arm. It was his girlfriend, 19-year-old Tiffany Rodriguez, who was also crying on the couch. She was holding a knife as well.

Witnesses stated that Mills had been drinking alcohol throughout the morning. He then was going to prepare the Thanksgiving turkey. But after he took it out from the refrigerator, rather than put it in the oven, Mills pulled down his pants and proceeded to have sex with the Thanksgiving turkey.

Mills tried to make his perversion private, as he took to screwing the bird inside the bathroom. That’s when his girlfriend heard noises and ended up finding him fornicating with the turkey corpse, and as she stated he was “going at it hard”.

After bursting into the bathroom and witnessing the sordid scene, the girlfriend immediately grabbed the bird and ran with it into the living room. Mills, now interrupted from the rough turkey sex he was engaging in, frantically followed her into the living room, apparently trying to get the bird back to finish the act.

That’s when the girlfriend, Rodriguez, had had enough, and ended up losing it. She then began stabbing her boyfriend.
Molest Turkey
Assault with a deadly weapon’ was the charge for Rodriguez. Mills is facing a lesser, but clearly more embarrassing charge of ‘sexual gratification with an animal.’

Mill’s lawyer is confident that they don’t have a case, as they are going to argue that since the Thanksgiving turkey was technically a carcass, it simply does not qualify as being an animal.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass” is the motion filed by Wisconsin Public defender Fred Resnick.

Resnick reasoned that if this precedent is set, regarding the placement of animal corpse sex in the same category of live animal sex, then the court system is going to become completely overwhelmed. As Resnick put it, “you are going to have several cases in front of you this next year, we are in Wisconsin – that’s what people do here.”

Mills could be sentenced to a max of 2 years in jail. The sentence is based on the fact that Mills has a prior criminal history, specifically involving the shooting death of a pig named Mitzy. Apparently the shooting was for the intention to have carnal relations with pig.

No word yet on what amount of time Rodriguez is looking to face for her crime.

Share this bizarre Thanksgiving story with friends and family!